Weekly Comics Round-Up

Every week (roughly) Aaron goes to the Laughing Ogre in Columbus, Ohio and spends far more money than his wife would prefer. He then comes back here and writes about the comics he reads that he thought were noteworthy. This isn't everything he picks up, just the things that he feels merit discussion - either for being really good, or for having something really wrong with them.

Countdown to Mystery 1
This book focuses on three of the major players in the mystic community of the DCU – the helmet of Dr. Fate, Eclipso and the Spectre. The rules of magic in the DCU have, after all, been rewritten following Infinite Crisis and the death of Nabu – something we also see this week in the pages of Countdown and Shadowpact. Though even with Nabu being dead, there must always be a Doctor Fate – and the helmet of fate finds a new Dr. Kent Nelson. This Nelson is a drunk, who has lost his wife and child and practice due to his own stupidity and depression. Nonetheless, he puts the helmet on when he finds it in the dumpster he was dumped in. The helmet fills him in on the history of the helmet, as well as reminding him of his own past – just in time for him to be attacked by a hell hound. He transforms into Dr. Fate and takes the hound out, and is then confronted by the beast’s master.

Meanwhile, the Spectre kills a serial killer – whose ghost then decides to follow the Spectre as he is drawn to another crisis. It’s a short story, all of two or so pages, but I imagine it’ll get picked up in later issues.

Finally we come to Eclipso. Jean Loring finds Plastic Man, and taunts him as they battle, eventually (probably) turning Eel O’Brian to the Dark Side. It’s an interesting little story, though I don’t really approve of Plas being so casually used. I think the character has a lot more inner strength then they let us see here. The issue ends with a flashback to Eclipso being drawn to Apokolips – where Darkseid tells us that he was the creator of the Black Diamonds. Interesting if true, and it means that Eclipso will no doubt be pulled into the ongoing murders of the New Gods.

A nice solid issue.

Captain America 30
The Winter Soldier has found the Red Skull in the body of Lushkin, and proceeds to beat the crap out of Crossbones and Syn while the Skull watches. Once the Skull finds out what he needed to know about Bucky, he uses an old Russian failsafe to shut him down – which leads to him torturing Bucky, probably in an effort to re-brainwash him.

As for the other folks who were a part of Steve’s life, we begin to see storylines come together as the Black Widow goes to find the Falcon and Agent 13 at Stark’s behest. Stark has begun to uncover Faustus’ involvement in S.H.I.E.L.D., and Natasha is there to check Sharon out. Of course, Sharon has an unexpected surprise as she finds a final “gift” left to her by Steve, which makes her perfectly receptive to another one of Faustus’ commands – one which bodes ill for the Falcon and the Black Widow.

Stark is on his way to the rescue in time for next issue, but before he leaves we get to see a final letter to Tony from Steve – one where Steve says that Captain America is bigger than he is, and that Tony shouldn’t let that die.

Personally, I’d still rather see Clint Barton take over the role, but it looks like Bucky may be wearing the mask of Captain America in a short time – provided the Skull doesn’t take him over first.

Penance: Relentless 1
I wasn’t thrilled with the last solo issue they gave Penance. I really like Robby Baldwin, and have ever since the first issue of Speedball. I felt like they didn’t quite know what to do with him following the transformation into Penance in the pages of Civil War. This issue, however, gets it.

Quite simply, Robby has lost it. He’s suffering from PTSD, and it has made him reckless, and obsessed with numbers. As one doctor observing him notes, the neurons in his brain were actually burned out by the stress, and so Robby is re-inventing himself. I have no clue what the deal with the numbers is, but I’m digging watching him throw off his handlers, and flummoxing the normally smooth Moonstone.

The big mystery of this issue, however, isn’t what the number patterns mean. It’s what Robby wants to get back from "the Leader of Latveria" – presumbaly Doom, but who can say?

Tales of the Sinestro Corps: Parallax 1
Kyle Rayner is possessed by Parallax. This is, clearly, a bad thing. There are any number of reasons why this is bad – as a symbol, Rayner represents the idea that the Corps will survive any disaster, he’s an amazingly creative artist which Parallax can now use against the Corps, and it means that Ion has lost his host (although he has since been rescued).

This issue lets us see how this is going on inside of Kyle’s head. He’s imprisoned in his own mind, and can see what Parallax is doing through him through a window in his mother’s house. Parallax comes in to taunt him, which leads to a fight – in which Kyle reinvents himself as a Green Lantern once again.

It’s really well done, and a nice reminder of the fact that Kyle has the will to be a Lantern, despite not being selected in a conventional manner. Kyle often gets the short-stick when compared to other Lanterns, but he has

World War Hulk 4
There isn’t a single thing bad about this issue. We begin with a battle between the possessed Dr. Strange and the Hulk. It seems the good doctor has drank the essence of a demon which fills him with rage and power. Enough power to hurt the Hulk, but enough rage to nearly kill a group of innocents – the same group of innocents who the Hulk saves. This is enough of a shock to Strange that the Hulk manages to defeat him, and is able to add Strange to the group of Illuminati who are no implanted with the same control discs the Hulk and his warbound once wore. While the Hulk puts them through the same trials he was put through, we see a flashback between the Sentry and Iron Man, as Tony tries to convince Robert that he needs to be the one to take out the Hulk – something which Robert fears to do, lest he lose control and the Void takes over once more. The issue ends with the Hulk signalling that the Illuminati in the arena must kill one another, which seems to be the trigger that Robert needs to decide that the Sentry must come into action.

It’s exquisitely put together, with great writing and amazing artwork. What amazes me, however, is how effective the scenes of ordinary humans watching and cheering the gladiator match are. Even more significant are the testimonials of Tom Foster and the others who believe (possibly correctly) that the Hulk is in the right here.

I still resent Planet Hulk for it’s length and annoyingness. But with how good World War Hulk has been, I’m beginning to forgive them for it.

A few books which don’t deserve an entire write-up, but are worth picking up if you get the chance. In Green Arrow and Black Canary: Wedding Special we have a generally fun issue, with nice characterization (if occasionally painted with too broad of strokes). My only complaints would be that it was generally predictable – even the wedding being crashed by villains. The ending irritated me, however. Dinah is better than that. Birds of Prey 116 is a good read, and lots of fun as we watch the Huntress chatting with Barbara via uplink while trying to stop a group of kids who are in danger of bombing the city because of being “fans” of the Aromic Skull. It was good, but ultimately unimportant as it did nothing to further any character’s story. Good filler, but filler nonetheless.

This particular week’s issue of Countdown was ok – but nothing terribly exciting happened. Stories are progressing as they should, but no major event happened this particular week. What I did find interesting was the new ad that DC is running to tease Final Crisis. The groupings in this double-page spread include A) The Trickster, holding a flute (presumably Piper’s) speaking with DeSaad and the Penguin. B) The Kingdom Come version of Superman standing besides the Cyborg Hank Henshaw, with a man who appears to be a version of the “back from the dead” Superman (long hair, and in all-black costume. His back is to us, but he wears a black cape with a silver “S” shield. C) The Joker whispering something into Catwoman’s ear, while the Martian Manhunter stands behind them both. D) A far too-excited Mary Marvel standing between Eclipso (Jean Lorring) and Granny Goodness, and finally E) Luthor, in the silver-age purple jumpsuit, wailing on the ground with blood on his hands. Interesting teases about what the future may hold.

A Marvelous Weekly Comic Round-Up

Every week (roughly) Aaron goes to the Laughing Ogre in Columbus, Ohio and spends far more money than his wife would prefer. He then comes back here and writes about the comics he reads that he thought were noteworthy. This isn't everything he picks up, just the things that he feels merit discussion - either for being really good, or for having something really wrong with them.

Hey, true believers! (I have always wanted to say that). This past week books were delayed for Labor Day, and it was a light week, with almost no DC titles to speak of. More than that, my store got shorted by Diamond, so I missed half of my pull anyhow. So, we're just going to get to the Marvel books this week that seemed worthwhile.

She-Hulk 21
She-Hulk’s own title has always kind of floated out on the fringe of 616-Marvel continuity. It breaks the fourth wall routinely and makes self-referential jokes about being a comic book. It’s also light, fun, and doesn’t depress you to read, which is why I read it.

In this issue, Jen gets her powers back due to a P.L.O.T. device that brings people from another reality (one where no one has super-powers) to the mainstream 616 universe, where they are temporarily transformed into a duplicate of their 616 counterpart. It’s an extreme vacation, of sorts. And before they arrive, they’re given a copy of the Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe, so that they know what it is they’re supposed to know in this reality.

But of course, they don’t always pay that much attention.

And in one fell swoop, they have explained away every continuity glitch in all of the Marvel Universe. Carnage shows up in X-Men, even though the Sentry ripped him in half? It’s actually Cletus Cassidy from Earth A on vacation.

I love this book.

Hulk 110
Is the Hulk a monster, or a hero?

It’s a question that has never been definitively answered in Marvel Comics, and rightly so, I think. But I never thought I’d see it pushed to quite this level. Genius kid, Amadeus Cho, puts forth the argument that Banner’s brain sees the world in numbers, the same way that he does. For that reason, the Hulk has nearly always avoided killing, except when brainless or in the most extreme circumstances.

This is Cho’s argument for why the Hulk won’t go through with making the Illuminati fight to the death against one another.

I’m not sure I buy it, and I’m not sure that it was needed, really. I was willing to accept that the Hulk had caused a minimal loss of life simply as a convention of comic books. Still, it made an interesting argument, and one I look forward to seeing how it plays out in the conclusion of World War Hulk. What I do wonder though is why we needed a new, and really annoying, character to fill the role of Cho. I’d have preferred to see these arguments put forward by an existing member of the Marvel Universe. Now, it’s true that most of the “big brains” of the Marvel Universe are a part of the Illuminati, but not all of them. How hard would it have been for Rick Jones and, in a surprise move, the Leader, to put forth the same observation? Still, a fun issue, with a lot riding on the edge of “Will the Hulk kill or not?”

Amazing Spider-Man 544
“One More Day” is here, as Peter makes a last ditch effort to save Aunt May’s life. A doctor who feels that he owes Spider-Man something has made it possible for May to stay in the hospital, so long as there is some way to pay for it. “Insurance would be good. A bottomless checkbook would be better.”

Which leads Mr. Parker to pay a visit to Tony Stark, a man who has a bottomless checkbook. The physical fight between Iron Man and Spidey is short, and ultimately not the important part of their confrontation. Instead, we get to see Peter crack into Tony’s “whatever we do is justified” armor, and ultimately this forces Tony to send Jarvis over with a check for 2 million dollars, to take care of his “cousin.”

Sadly, medical care may only be enough to keep May comfortable until her final hour, which sends Peter off to find someone who can help. In the circles he travels in, death is routinely cheated. Why can’t May be saved as well?

JMS is a great writer, and takes what might be a cliché in other author’s hands into a deeply moving story. I think that May is not going to make it through this, and while that saddens me, I think I’m ok with it too. Just so long as we don’t see the Clone of Aunt May with spider-powers two years down the road. Let her death mean something, in the way that the unmasking has, and I’ll remain interested.

Five superhero films no one should ever watch

Ever, ever, ever.

This weekend, some friends and I got together to watch movies. We had three genres, and the group picked the best and the worst in each. One of the genres was "superhero," and the consensus of the group (though not one I personally agree with) was that X-Men was the best, and that Superman IV was the worst (which I do agree with, mostly.)

But it occurred to me that, while The Quest for Peace is pretty much only watchable with either a lot of alcohol, or good friends to mock it with, there are lots of other terrible superhero films. So, here are five of the worst offenders, in chronological order.

The Batman (1943)
I don’t quite know where to begin with my critique of this movie. There are so many wonderful things about it, really, that I’m not sure which to start with.

Perhaps it’s the racial epithets Batman uses to describe our Japanese villain – I mean, really, don’t we all want to see the Dark Knight call someone “a filthy Jap”? Of course, there’s also the fact that this Japanese villain is played by a very Caucasian looking man. We’re not even talking Max Von Sydow as Ming level here, but just a clearly white man. Of special note, there’s Robin’s afro – a classic look, and one which I can’t figure out why they never included in the comics. This coordinates beautifully with the baggy tights which both Batman and Robin sport.

But really, the thing that I find most remarkable about this serial is the fact that, in an effort to end every episode with a cliffhanger, Batman and Robin each seem incapable of fighting off a single thug each. Really, why is this? I can forgive special effects of this era being primitive, and I’m even willing to grant them license for the racial epithets in light of the U.S. preparing to enter the war. But fist-fighting hasn’t evolved all that much in the past 60 years. Simple combat choreography should have been manageable, even then. If you want to inflict a racist, bad-looking Batman on us, so be it. But couldn’t he at least be competent?

Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)
In the late eighties, we were obsessed with worrying about a possible nuclear war. It only makes sense that someone would ask “Wouldn’t it be nice if Superman could take care of this for us?” And that’s what the makers of this film did. But oh boy, did they do a terrible job of it.

First off, it was about the preachiest movie I’ve ever seen. There are nuns in Catholic schools who could learn something about trying to make you feel guilty from this film – if you felt like torturing them in order for them to learn. But even getting past that, it’s just bad. Neither Hackman nor Reeves can save this one, though Reeves is really trying to. He delivers the worst line I’ve ever heard and makes them sound… well, like he means them. Hackman’s performance is phoned in completely, and the movie can’t even be consistent with its’ own rules (Nuclear Man enters a volcano to make it erupt – but he gets depowered without sunlight. And Luthor cuts through Superman’s hair with bolt cutters.)

Which really is what the worst part of the film is – the Nuclear Man. Who is created wearing a cape. Who has a mullet. Whose Lee-Press-On-Nails-of-Doom are what cripple Superman. And who forces us to endure one national monument after another be used to illustrate “Ooh, he’s a bad guy.” And Mark Pillow (yes, that’s his name) doesn’t even get to deliver his own lines! His voice is Gene Hackman’s.

I appreciate the fact that they tried to give Superman a supervillain to fight, but just say no to Nuclear Man.

The Incredible Hulk Returns (1988)/The Trial of the Incredible Hulk (1989)
(I know I’m cheating by including both of these together – bear with me. That's how they're packaged if you buy them - which you should not, but I did.) Lou Ferigno wore a false nose and a wig, in addition to being painted green, in order to play the Incredible Hulk. This only added to how ridiculous he looked – but somehow it worked. And the series was entertaining, in a 1970’s kind of way, probably due to the incredible acting skills of Bill Bixby.

I remember watching re-runs as a kid on Saturday mornings, and really digging them. So when they announced made-for-tv movies with the Hulk returning, I was ecstatic and forced my parents to let me watch them. I owe my parents a lot.

Every single part of these movies was deplorable. The “ninja-costume” Daredevil. Thor, the ancient Viking warrior (not god) who is summoned by (but not transformed into by) Donald Blake. Bill Bixby with a beard. John Rhys-Davis as the Kingpin. It’s just a lot of pain. The even more remarkable thing is that each of these were intended to also be pilots for a Thor or Daredevil series. Obviously, these never came to be.

They were followed up with The Death of the Incredible Hulk, which was a decent enough film, except for the very ending. (Because a fall from a helicopter is enough to kill the Hulk. Really.) A Resurrection of the Incredible Hulk was promised, but never came to be, largely because Bill Bixby passed away before it could become a reality. Of course, frighteningly, these might have been used as pilots for a She-Hulk or Iron Man series.

Ang Lee’s Hulk wasn’t good, but it was a lot better than these two turkeys. Gamma bomb them from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.

Captain America (1990)
(singing) When Captain America (in his rubber costume complete with artificial ears) throws his mighty (made of hard, ridged plastic) shield…

We cringe. A lot. The costume was atrocious, right up there with the bat-nipples from Batman & Robin. The shield looked like a toy, not the mightiest weapon available to the U.S. A heat gun could’ve destroyed it – so much for an unbreakable shield.

For reasons that will never be known to me, they also decided that the Red Skull shouldn’t be a German Nazi. Instead, he’s an Italian fascist. And his face doesn’t actually look like a skull – it just looks oogie. When Captain America re-awakens in the modern era, the Skull has disguised his appearance by painting the red flesh colored. So, he looks marginally less oogie.

And once more, we’re treated to an incompetent superhero. This movie is only 17 years old. I know for a fact that there were movies made before this film that had good fight-scenes. But “the Living Legend,” the pinnacle of human achievement, the most highly trained warrior produced by the US army – he fights like a drunken seventh-grader.

Catwoman (2004)
Do you remember seeing Lee Meriwether, Eartha Kitt, Julie Newmar or Michelle Pfeiffer playing Catwoman? They did so in the 1960’s television series and movie, and then in Batman Returns. Each of them was sexy, cunning and dangerous, and played a marvelous rendition of Selina Kyle.

I remember when they announced that the woman responsible for wasting the role of Storm (and she did) was going to be playing Catwoman in her own feature film. And I thought, Well, this is a waste. Why didn’t they do this ten years ago when Michelle Pfeiffer could have starred in the role? Then they further announced that she wasn’t going to be Selina Kyle, she was going to be Prudence Price. Ok, I thought, well at least this atrocity won’t be connected to the character of Selina Kyle. She’s just some other crazy cat-lady.

And then I saw the preview images from the film. There was a reasonable costume for her to wear, which she began off in. And then there was this one. To which I could only think to myself, Well, I have now seen the only thing in this movie that could possibly be worth seeing – namely a mostly-nude Halle Berry.

Little did I realize how right I was. That image was the only thing worth seeing. Save yourself, and look at the screen-shots, but avoid this film.

So, which terrible superhero films are among your favorite (or most hated?)

Weekly Comic Round-Up

Every week (roughly) Aaron goes to the Laughing Ogre in Columbus, Ohio and spends far more money than his wife would prefer. He then comes back here and writes about the comics he reads that he thought were noteworthy. This isn't everything he picks up, just the things that he feels merit discussion - either for being really good, or for having something really wrong with them.

Avengers: The Initiative 5
It was only a matter of time before the Initiative led to private super-teams under the control of the Government, used for Black Ops. Yes, even more so than the Thunderbolts. And sure enough, Gyrich has a team of his own, whose first mission is to rescue the stupid Initiative members who went after the Hulk in the last issue.

Who are the members of Gyrich's team? Trauma, from the pages of this comic, the Bronze Tiger, who no longer can handle working under War Machine, the Constrictor, who has been offered a full pardon and a chance to become a hero - something he apparently wanted, the Scarlet Spiders, who are three people wearing the "Iron Spider" armor Stark made for Peter Parker, and Mutant 0. Who is Mutant 0? She's off the record, the 199th of the 198. And has all sorts of rules about what she does and doesn't do during the team's missions. Honestly, I've no idea who she is. I have some theories, but nothing with any strength behind them.

The team manages the rescue, but not before Trauma gets beaten up by the Hulk. See, apparently Trauma is an Omega class threat, with his ability to transform into whatever his opponent fears. Having trained under Mirage, he has some control over his power. Mirage, of course, looks at this as an opportunity for him to help people with their fears, but Gyrich wants no part of that. So, Trauma tries to hold off the Hulk while the team escapes, transforming first into the Abomination, then Juggernaut, than David Banner, and finally into Bruce Banner. This is when the Hulk really focuses on him, and suddenly Trauma can't change form. Why? Because the Hulk says (and at the moment, I believe him) "I'm not afraid of anything." Right now, as consumed with rage and vengeance as he is, I think he's telling the truth. And that's a scary thought for the Marvel Universe.

Countdown 35
This wasn’t the best week of Countdown for me, which I really was kind of bummed about. Why? Well because Sean McKeever wrote it, and I know the guy. He was even at my comic store signing comics this week.

I think it was just an issue of it being a little too scattered, and that the characters I like most in Countdown didn’t get a lot of screen time in this issue.

In summary, Donna Troy and Jason Todd continue their trip through the Palmerverse to find Ray Palmer, and now have actually found him in the clutches of Queen Belthera, who turns him into an insectoid and makes the Monitor turn on Donna and Jason. Meanwhile, Zatanna shows Mary why she’s one of the world’s greatest sorcerers, while Mary is a very powerful novice. Mr. Action, or Jimmy Olsen to most of us, gets kicked off the JLA due to being unable to demonstrate any abilities – a consequence of them only activating if he is legitimately in danger, which he never was against the JLA. Oh, and there was something going on with Athena’s disciples all fighting, and a continuation of Karate Kid’s fight.

All in all? Kind of a “meh” issue.

World War Hulk/X-Men 3
The final issue of this mini-series has arrived, and for all that I enjoyed it, it seemed a bit pointless. We were treated to more scenes of the Hulk taking one member of the X-Men after another. Each of which was amusing in its’ own way, but none of which seemed all that important over-all. No one was too seriously injured, no damage was done to the Hulk, and Xavier remains with the X-Men instead of being dragged off by the Hulk to suffer with other Illuminati.

Why? Well because despite the fact that Xavier was willing to go with the Hulk from the beginning (because even though he wasn’t there when they decided to send the Hulk to Planet Hulk, he couldn’t honestly say he knows he’d have opposed the plan), his students aren’t willing to abandon him. Why? Because being a mutant means watching people get killed just for being different, and as mutants they’ve suffered as much as the Hulk has.
I’m not quite sure why the Hulk agrees, but he basically tells Xavier “You already live in hell, I don’t need to do anything to you.” Eh, whatever. I guess it’s just to keep the X-Men from needing to be in the climax to World War Hulk.

We also get to see the Juggernaut back to full power, and back to being a villain, maybe. Cyttorak tells him that he was weakened because he was denying what he is – an engine of destruction. He didn’t come there to fight the Hulk, he came to save Xavier, and that’s not what the Juggernaut is. But sadly, we didn’t get to see much of the fight between them, since the Hulk basically uses Akido to get rid of the Juggernaut long enough to have his confrontation with Xavier. I am glad to see them returning the Juggernaut to villain status – I’m getting tired of making all the cool villains into heroes.

Teen Titans 50
Bart Allen was killed by the Rogues over in the pages of The Flash, and now the Titans finally get around to having a funeral for the former Impulse/Kid Flash. Touching ceremony, and pretty much what I expected from it. There were two nice flashback scenes involving the different Kid Flashes – one about Bart flying the Batplan, and one involving Wally remembering Barry showing confidence in him. Nice moments both.

After the funeral, Megan (Miss Martian) makes a terrible faux pas, impersonating Bart. She was trying to do it to lighten spirits and remind people of Bart, but it was obviously taken the wrong way. Later that night, Tim and Cassie meet at the memorial which now sports two statues – one for Bart and one for Connor. There was another moment of romance between Tim and Cassie, which I am now beginning to think is her just trying desperately to not think of Connor. There moment is interrupted by the Flash running up to them to warn them that “They’re back.” Is this Flash Bart? Or is it Wally? It’s left uncertain.

As for who’s back? Well, it’s the future versions of the Titans after they’ve taken over for the JLA, seen not too long ago. Connor as Superman, Cassie as Wonder Woman, and Tim as Batman. During the course of the issue, we also get to see these future versions taking out the current members of the JLA. It will be interesting to see how this pans out next issue – I look forward to a really nasty fight.

Sadly, as good as I found the issue, it was a bit too much for one issue – even an extra-large one. And unfortunately, despite all the momentous events, the moment that I will never forget from this issue was that of Ravager leading Kid Devil to the pool so they could go skinny-dipping. She is really growing on me, though I want her to hook up with Robin and end the abomination that is Tim and Cassie.

A Villainous Comic-Round Up

It's a week of heroic villains and villainous heroes. Quite an odd week, really.

Black Adam 1
It's no secret that I've always liked the Marvel family - Captain Marvel, Mary Marvel, CM3 and Black Adam too. I was quite happy when Adam became a hero, of sorts, through the Justice Society and the flashback to Egypt. I enjoyed his stint as a hero in 52, and was bummed when it was put to an end with the death of Isis and Osiris. So, with him having his own comic, I had no choice but to pick it up.

Overall? Not a disappointment. I knew going into it that we weren't going to see Black Adam in his superpowered form, since he gave his powers up in 52, and Mary has them at the present in Countdown. But I was thrilled at the intensity of this issue. Adam's disfigurement at the hands of his followers, his desperate struggle to get Isis' remains, and then her resurrection all had a great speed and emotional depth.

Countdown 38
It's not the best comic I'm reading. It's a little disjointed, and a little uneven. There isn't enough time to focus on each story, and it doesn't flow real well from week to week. But this might be the comic I had the most fun with this week. Why?

We got to see Batwoman and the Question working together to catch the Trickster and Piper.

We got to watch an epic computer battle between the Calculator and Oracle, tying into the mystery of Karate Kid.

We got to find out more about Mary Marvel's new powers, how she deals with it, and that it's connected to Eclipso.

With this much good, plus Jimmy Olsen and his involvement with the Titans, and then Darkseid and his plot to remove the New Gods, I could handle the lack of coherency and just enjoy the moments.

New Avengers 33
I feel this book has gotten unfair criticism. I dig the stories, and the characters a lot, even if some think the New Avengers are an unfit superteam. But I think the storytelling has been very tight, and the characterization has been dead on. I'm already a little tired of the mystery of "Who's the Skrull?" and the suspicion it's causing. I also kind of doubt that any of them are Skrulls, despite their paranoia about such in the wake of discovering that Elektra was a Skrull.

The highlight of this issue, without a doubt, would be the flashback to Captain America training the Avengers. I like the fact that Hawkeye has been shown to be a devastatingly effective hand-to-hand fighter. It's something we've always known, but has often been ignored. I'm also very interested in seeing who this new crime boss is.

Green Lantern 22
I am a big, big Green Lantern fan. Always have been - at least, ever since the mid-90's with the introduction of Kyle Rayner. And as mentioned earlier, I really dug the first issue of The Sinestro Corps. I've also always dug the Cyborg (the Superman villain one, Hank Henshaw). So, needless to say, this issue was just about perfect for me. Finding out that Hank Henshaw's motivation is actually to find a being powerful enough to kill him (such as the Anti-Monitor) was awesome, and honestly, something I should have seen coming. It's also kind of nice to see the connection between Parallax and the Cyborg - since it was by the Cyborg's actions that Parallax was able to possess Hal Jordan. The battle between the two Corps was also just as epic and amazing as it should have been. And the cliffhanger ending, with Hal facing Lyssa Drak?

Where's the next issue already?

Hulk 109
The character of Amadeus Cho, frankly, bores the heck out of me. I don't need to see the world's smartest teenage genius. For one thing, there are enough people in the Marvel Universe who claim to be the world's smartest man - we don't need another. Further, we don't need it to be an irritating teenager - we had that done with Wesley Crusher on Star Trek: The Next Generation (no offense meant to Wil Wheton, it wasn't his fault).

But despite that, I really enjoyed this issue. Because it focused on, what for me, will make the difference between whether the Hulk is a hero or not. Does he kill?

So far, the Hulk has never directly, intentionally killed anyone - although he has tried. He certainly hasn't done so while Banner was in charge. This issue brings that conflict to a head, in the discussions between Cho and Rick Jones, in the interactions between the Hulk's human allies and his Warbound, and finally in Cho's discovery of the Illuminati fitted with the Gladiator discs.

Marvel has shown themselves willing to make brave choices that change their landscape. The Registration Act. The unmasking of Peter Parker. The death of Captain America. This could be another one - determining once and for all whether the Hulk belongs on the roster of Earth's heroes or not. I have no doubt he'll keep his own comic either way. I have no doubt he will continue to do things which, overall, help mankind. But if he crosses this line he will remove himself from the status of "superhero", at least in my mind - which is something I will grieve for. I'm not saying that if Marvel does make him kill someone I'll hate him, or the company, or anything along those lines. It just means that they will have forever altered their continuity, and the five year old kid inside me who used to love the Hulk, and get chased around a comic book store by the owner, a friend of the family, who would shout "Hulk smash puny human!", will shed a tear or two.

Semi-weekly comics round-up

Amazing Spider-Man 542
Back in Black has always been about how far Peter can be pushed, and how far over the edge he’s willing to go. This issue capped that for me beautifully. His battle against the Kingpin was everything it should have been – intense and scary and personal. It wasn’t about Spider-Man and the Kingpin. It was about a superpowered Peter Parker going after the man who tried to kill his Aunt and wife.

Spider-Man really should be scary. For one thing, he’s a humanoid spider. That’s just scary and creepy. Most of us are scared of spiders – and there’s a good reason for that. A small spider can kill a man. Peter Parker is a 6’ tall spider, with a human’s reasoning. (And a smart human at that.) He also holds back most of the time, because he really doesn’t want to hurt anyone.

Wilson Fisk realized what kind of enemy Spider-Man can actually be in this issue. And I loved every bleeding second of it.

Teen Titans 49
I haven’t been reading Amazons Attack, and I really don’t feel like I’m missing much. This issue confirmed that for me.

The Titans, with the assistance of Supergirl and Wonder-Girl had to fight the Amazons while trying to rescue Cassie’s mother. The US military was involved too. I thought it was all a bit pointless, honestly. An attack against the Man’s World by the Amazons could be really interesting – doing it in the midst of Countdown was a waste of a good story idea.

Honestly, I wouldn’t even mention this comic in my abbreviated round-up, except for one thing.

Earlier in the new run of Teen Titans, Robin and Wonder-Girl has a brief hint at a romance forming between them. Cassie firmly pulled away from this. Both Cassie and Tim are seriously grieving the death of Connor (as am I, to tell the truth), but this issue ends with an impassioned plea for Wonder-Girl to remain with the Titans, and a big kiss between the two. I can understand that grief can bring people together – but it just feels too soon to me. Connor was Tim’s best friend. Connor was the one that Cassie lost her virginity to. Neither one should be moving on this quickly. And if (though I think when) Connor returns, this will end poorly for all three.

The Mighty Avengers 4
I’ve had issues with the Mighty Avengers – a fact which deeply disturbs me. I like the Avengers. I like Bendis as a writer. But the tone of this book has consistently felt off, something all the more disappointing since the New Avengers is going so well. I think it might be the thought balloons. It’s been awhile since we’ve seen those in comics, so that might be part of it. But I think it’s more the fact that the thought balloons seem to be editorial – the opinions and snide comments of the author – and not really appropriate to the character they are coming from.

I’m also not digging “Fembot Ultron”, for any number of factors. The idea that this thing was built out of Tony Stark is disturbing, and pointless, since it would affect continuity in every other comic being published by Marvel at the moment. It won’t last. The idea that Ultron would model its body after Janet Van Dyne is perhaps appropriate. But why make her bustier and run around mostly naked? It’s sexuality in comics for the sake of sexuality – something all the more pointless because Janet is already a sexual character.

The actual plot of this issue is hardly worth mentioning as well. Ultron is controlling the Iron Man armors as part of its plot to destroy humanity. And to neutralize the Sentry, who potentially is the most powerful hero in the Marvel Universe that routinely lives on earth, it personally and nastily goes after his wife. I want to care, but I just don't.

Green Arrow: Year One 2
I wasn’t thrilled about Issue 1 of this comic, and I still remain, at least mostly, unimpressed. The story is slightly more engaging, perhaps because of a stronger narrative voice for Ollie, something that made the latest run of Green Arrow very enjoyable. But it still feels a bit pointless and trite.

So far he's managed to learn to make a bow, keep warm, find bodies - oh, and alert the killers who use this island as a hideout to his presence. Not good.

I want to read this and feel like I’m seeing the evolution from spoiled rich fop into a hero. But I don’t. At most I feel like I’m seeing how he became a survivor. It did the job well enough for me to grab Issue 3 next month, but I’m still not loving this series. If I didn’t like Ollie so much, I suspect that I’d be ready to drop the comic as of now.

World War Hulk 3
A few posts back, I raved about how great World War Hulk has been. While some of the comics in the run have been less than fabulous (Gamma Force, anyone?), as a whole it still doesn’t disappoint. World War Hulk 2 continues the breakneck pace set with the first issue, and remains just as fun as ever. General Ross comes after the Hulk with the full US Military at his command, right up to using adamantium bullets. Dr. Strange continued to try to get into the Hulk’s head, and we got to really get an idea of how angry Bruce/the Hulk is. Interestingly enough, I’m beginning to think that this really is a merged personality of Bruce and the Hulk, despite never being claimed as such. Either that, or Banner has retreated into his own mind, and doesn’t ever want to really come back out.

Interestingly, I find myself approving of the Hulk’s use of the gladiatorial control discs on Earth’s heroes – especially those responsible for his banishment. I know I loathed Planet Hulk, and I still do, but considering what happened to Bruce, I think the punishment is only fitting. Now, I’m not quite sure what’s up with the potion Strange drank, and his conversion into “Strange Smash”, but I think this is only going to lead to more intense physical pain for the Earth’s Sorcerer Supreme.

New Warriors 3
I’ve always liked comics about teen superheroes finding their place in a world of established legends. While there have been a few that never drew me in (mainly anything tied to the X-Men), as a whole, if it was about teenage heroes dealing with teenage issues while saving the world, I was there. Teen Titans, Young Avengers, Young Justice, New Warriors – I was always there.

I’m not sure why this is, exactly. Maybe it’s because it was as a teen that my love for superheroes solidified (since I was able to regularly afford comics and keep up with storylines). Maybe it’s because superheroics really are an adolescent fantasy. It’s easier to cope with the idea of figuring out how one is a superhero if one doesn’t have a family to take care of. Or maybe it’s just because the figuring out how to be a hero is more interesting than already being one.

In any case, I love my teenage superheroes. But I’m really not caring for this run of New Warriors at all. It almost feels like it’s trying too hard to be “urban”. It’s also just so dark – and I don’t care for that at all. Furthermore, it just feels a little weird. Dwayne is a manipulative jerk, but he does ultimately care about folks. This doesn’t feel like that – it feels like it’s about ego. Both Thrasher’s, and the egos of those on the team. Jubilee was totally nailed by the accusation of what this was about, even if she didn’t admit it. And Logan’s talk with her reinforced it. I suspect we will see disagreement between Jubilee and Thrash over the direction of the team. And soon.

Now, what I’d really like to see would be for Penance and the Thunderbolts to be assigned to take out the Warriors. But more likely, we’ll see the Initiative sent after them in return for their vandalism of SHIELD. Or at least someone will see it. It may not be me. As with some other books this round up, they’ve got me for a few more issues, but I’m close to dropping this book already.

I actually did enjoy some comics these past two weeks, believe it or not. But with the exception of Amazing Spider-Man and World War Hulk, it seemed more pressing to talk about the disappointments than the ones that delivered.

A brief question about logic

War is hell. (In logic terms, All A is B.)
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. (In logic terms, all B is C.)
If I remember college logic correctly, these statements can be re-read. "All wars are equal to hell," and "No hells have a fury like a woman scorned."
This statement could be re-written thusly, "War hath no fury like a woman scorned." (All A is C.)

I'm going to add my own tweak on this statement.

"War hath no fury like the Hulk when he has been scorned."

Time to wake up, boys and girls. World War Hulk has come to the Marvel Universe.

Now, I make no secret about the fact that I adore the Hulk, but really, really hated the Planet Hulk storyline. It just seemed like a less-interesting rehash of the Hulk banished to the Crossroads of Eternity. Furthermore, I didn't think that Marvel needed another mega-crossover so shortly on the heels of Civil War.

I will now confess. I was wrong.

World War Hulk has been a wild ride already, and shows no signs of slowing down. From tearing Black Bolt and the Inhumans apart, to his assault on the X-Mansion (and just what will Charles Xavier's answer be, anyhow?), to his showdown with Iron Man in New York City, and the evacuation which was a part of it, WWH has knocked my socks off.

It has it's flaws, of course. The continuity between it and the other aspects of the 616 Universe (the Initiative, the X-Men's Endangered Species storyline, the Inhuman's Silent War, just to name a few) has been... let's be generous and say "less than consistent."

But it's been fun. Which is kind of astonishing, considering it's about the Hulk coming back to Earth at the head of an interstellar fleet to quite literally SMASH the planet. Maybe it's because Civil War was so depressing, turning hero against hero and turning the Marvel Universe on its head. Having the Hulk as a central figure for the Marvel-verse to focus on makes for something much cleaner. Even with the fact that, as always, painting the Hulk as a villain isn't entirely fair. All he wanted, ever, was to be left alone. That never happened while he was on Earth. Then they banished him to space, which generally sucked. But he made a life to be happy about there. And then there was the bomb.

Now, I don't know if the bomb was actually planned by any, or all, of the Illuminati. It seems out of character for most of them. And the truth will out over the next several months.

But the bomb killed the Hulk's wife and child. And finally, he had enough. Mankind clearly wasn't capable of leaving him alone.

So he would make them.

I feel bad for the Hulk, as I always have. I feel bad for those caught in his path, again, as I always have. I want to see him stopped, obviously. But a part of me doesn't.

This is why I read comics people.